My Third Week Of May

Have you ever heard the line, when you pray you are speaking to God and when you read his words, God is speaking to you? I totally agree to it. Lately, I’ve been asking God for so many things and he’s been speaking to me through his words as I read my bible. The best thing is that God is really working not just within me but around me.

Recently, I asked self-centered requests from our Lord, and even undeserving he still gave it to me anyway. One of those was last Sunday (May 18, 2014) when I badly wanted to see someone and I ended up not seeing that person (who I shall not name) but to make it short, when I finally gave up my best friend, Mighty found that someone for me. It was like God wanted me to learn to have greater faith in him. And oh boy, it was totally worth the wait (only I lost faith).

Of course, of course and of course that’s not the first time it happened. There were days when I felt so insecure and some days I didn’t know what to do that I curled up on my bed crying. There was this one incident when I snapped and I was so mad that I forgot to think before I went into action. I suffered for almost two years trying to figure out what to do until few days ago, I went naked before God and poured my emotions to him. You know what God did after? He gave me the wisdom to say the right words (not the best grammar but the right things to say) and I texted that person right away. That day, God healed me completely. I finally told my best friends and I quote (myself), “It has been hurting yet healing. Today, it finally healed.”

And this weekend, my friend posted in Instagram a photo of a pack of cigarette and a bottle of redhorse (or whatever alcohol was that) with a caption “sinful week” and I hated him for that so I commented, “Oh boy, you didn’t just claim that.” Ending, he ignored me. And I was, once again, disappointed in him. But then Rick Warren’s word reminded me that as a Christian we must be sensitive with unbelievers (make no mistake, my friend believes in existence of God and he attends Sunday mass but most of the time he has other lifestyle on  weekdays even weekends). So I changed my tactic and shared God’s amazing works for me instead until we talked about his plans. His plan to attend at our church is still the same — a plan. So I told him to break the plan and make it happen. The good thing is, he said “soon.” It’s a progress because he used to reply “I don’t know.” At least now there is the word soon. I don’t know when will be that soon he’s talking about (I’m praying soonest) but at least he’s a work in progess. We all are, arent we?

In a week, I learned so much:

1. That God knows the desires of my heart and he will give it to me even if at times I am leaving my faith behind.

2. That God is a healer and his timing is always right.

3. That God can use even the simplest thing, like picture to reveal my (your) purpose.

The third one is the best for me — the best revelation. Yes, we cannot reach out everyone but we can reach out someone. Let’s start with those who are important to us: family, friends and relatives. Let’s speak the truth to them in love.

In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren used the Living Bible version for 1 Timothy 6:21a and it says, “Some of these people have missed the most important thing in life — they don’t know God.” I don’t want them (the people I love) to miss the most important thing in their life. The truth is, I am still searching for God. Every day I am praying that God will give me wisdom and that he will ignite my desire to know him deeper. But then I know that even if I’m struggling, I can still reach out to others and tell them the good news. We just have to pour our hearts to him. God said,“You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me.” (Jeremiah 29:13, NCV)

God is faithful even if we run away from him. His love is always perfect. Maybe just like me, you’re suffering from different kinds of pain and sometimes you don’t know what to do but take heart; God said, “I love you people with a love that will last forever. That is why I have continued showing you kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3, NCV)

And the best thing is that even my love fails, His love will never fail.

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